Decide what your own ground rules are going to be, then stick to them. Try to be consistent about when you will intervene. Will you only intervene if it is a safety issue, or will you mediate every conflict? Do you expect your kids will need your help to work most things out, or do you expect they will do it on their own?

When your child comes to you, usually crying or whining, complaining that “David won’t leave me alone” or “Kelly keeps calling me a baby,” don’t take matters into your own hands—teach your child how to confront the situation on his own. “Why don’t you tell David to stop?” “Why don’t you tell Kelly how that makes you feel?”

Make sure the offending sibling or friend isn’t simply hungry. Low blood sugar can make anyone prone to angry outbursts. Feed the kids if this might be the case.