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The Psychology of Everyday Life:Love, Marriage, and the Baby Carriage

Divorce

How can parents best protect their children’s emotional health during a divorce?

There is no way for a child to be entirely protected from the dislocations and losses inherent in divorce. When a family breaks up the child is pulled out of an intact family and will necessarily spend less time with one or both parents. Often there are major changes in the child’s life; there may be a move to a new house or a new school. There may be new babysitting arrangements. The parents are going through a highly challenging time and it is very difficult to fully shield the children from the parents’ ups and downs. However, most children will eventually adjust if they can maintain close relationships with both parents and if the parents can control their anger and hostility and learn to cooperate in the raising of their children. In order to thrive, children need love, predictability, and stability. Children are best protected against the negative impact of divorce when both parents remain committed to providing a safe and stable environment for their children, regardless of their feelings for each other.



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