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The Psychology of Everyday Life:Love, Marriage, and the Baby Carriage

Parenting

How does limit setting promote frustration tolerance?

Reasonable limit setting teaches children how to control their emotions and impulses. Without this necessary skill, a child will not be able to function effectively in a social setting. Therefore, when parents jump in to rescue their children each time they exhibit frustration or anxiety, they are depriving their children of the opportunity to learn to manage negative emotions. This undermines the development of crucial problem-solving and emotion-regulation skills. A child’s family may be willing to be indulgent; the outside world is far less likely to be as tolerant of the child’s whims. Thus, if children are not raised to adapt to the world outside their family, they are headed for a considerable amount of frustration, anxiety, and interpersonal problems. These problems can easily continue into adulthood as the previously indulged child is poorly equipped to negotiate the inevitable frustrations encountered in the realm of work and adult relationships.



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